bugs..

Im trying now to be clearer enough to atleast know what really I mean for this some kinda helpful pad..

As of now, I am thrilled with the med-surg-thing effect.. taking into consideration that our lecturers are really that "thrilled" themselves.. Thinking and also just seeing them makes my abdomen stiffen and my heart to pump faster..

But ofcourse I dont want this feeling to take effect and rule out for the rest of my lecture days in m/s. I know this will just ruin my mentality and I think I got this feeling because im not yet used to them (to the two of them.. Calayan and Gonzales).

Meanwhile, just a few minutes before, I was viewing the profile of this some-kinda mysterious?weird?ghetto-chick?? or someone I do not really imagine the attitude.. This person... I cant imagine she could do all the stuffs in this world. I think I adore her for that. She do all those interesting stuffs that so far I cant say I could do in the future..

She's so free.. She's busy yet she could do all the gimiks and all.. How could she do that?.. I totally admire her.. (Maybe she's not that busy?...I dunno)

Not just by the way she teach us (eventhough I got some low grade in her quizzes a few weeks ago).. but also the way she deal with her life..

.. The way she dress, speak, think and all the way she do-I think.. I almost admire her most!...

She's so smart.. she's pretty... she's so cool.. she's rich (I think).. with all those car, things that you could see in a rich person..

Whew...



but I dont think she's kind and thoughtful just like the other profs I'd encounter...

I dont think so.. maybe Im wrong for that.. I dont really know her yet.. So I must not assume..

I hope I could deal with her properly.. In a way that I'll not be degraded.. and I will not feel some kinda worthless creature...

Overcoming her attitude really is the greatest challenge for me...

I hope I could...



Well anyway..

So 2nd semester is now really on-going.. And they all said that this is the heardest sem for the entire nursing course.. I dont think so.. Let us assume that I dont know that.. Because if I keep on instilling those thought in my mind, it could probably be true.. So.. I'll not let my fears overrule...

But ofcourse anxiety is still always there.. As they've said.. mild anxiety is healthy... So ill not avoid that feeling.. Maybe Im getting used to that...



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Retdem thing...


Actually.. This week. We had our return demonstration with the 52 skills i think.. and Im so happy and proud because I'd overcome the fear of not making it.. Its really an accomplishment for me.. Thank God..

And for now.. We'll be on the hospital until the end of the sem.. And I hope Ill learn more...





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hmmn.. with my motivation-thing....

I think Im just making myself too obsessed again.. With this guy!!!!..

grrrrrhh!!.. I hate it.. If I could just ignore him.. I would.. But I cant.. He keeps on bugging my mind.. Eventhough he is not actually bugging me..(maybe Im the one who has the problem) I keep on thinking that he's part of--- eerr!!! Im making it so deep. I hate it!.. So STUPID! I hate it.. I want to finally deal with it!... Maybe if I had the opportunity....



Maybe sometime..

Got to go..



Im being closed by this shop.. Haha.. (Wrong enough!) ggrrhh!..



Its too late now..