LOST in track

Where am i?

Where should i go?

Why am i doing this?

Within the three day vacant-duty I had, I became lost.
Lost. Or maybe making myself lost. Losing the track on the essence of my existence.

I want to be as free as possible. But I dont like doing nothing all day. When we were assigned to just make a research for the three day duty of ours, I felt a great relief because I'll be able to sleep all day and be rested. But for me three days are so long for me to do just sleeping and chatting and surfing and doing nothing or worthless activities all day. I then became anxious when I dealt with these free days. Im starting to have the idea of "Happy go lucky" and I dont like that.

With the schedules I planned for the day, I wasnt able to accompish any. And Im very anxious with that. It just let me realize that for the remaining days of the week I'll be then exhausted and maybe has only a little time to review and to do all the necessary activities I needed to be done.

Just the thought of I'll be having a long quiz on Philippine History on Friday and I wasnt able finish reading the covered chapters, I was able to read some but I still need so much time to digest all the ideas in there. Because my professor there doesnt help a lot on my learnings on Phil. History, Im just studying and trying to memorize it all by myself. I hope I could do that.. I hope. With only 2 days remaining and exhausted day tomorrow, I think its impossible for me to digest all. What will I do to make it possible?, For sure, after school, I'll be magneted in bed or I'll found myself studying MS, without taking into consideration that I have a long quiz on Phil History. Why would I bother to review on that subject? Phil History - just minor?.. Even it is minor I know it is still part of my grades and I should do my best to have a good grades there.

For now, what would be the best strategy for me to make this problem easy. Or make my grades with ease without having some confusions and problems...

Whew..

What..?

Im still lost..

What should I do?
I know what should be prioritized but I cant resist on doing unworthy things.
What will I do now...?

Just let it go?.. and let tomorrow judge me? NO! I dont want..

I think I need some motivation again..

Grrrr!