My Heart

My heart

When I open my eyes, I found my heart
When I close it, I can't feel the pounding, the beating, the feeling of this heart longing for something
Am I really longing for this?
Or I just make myself worst by longing for something futile?

I am not actually deprived with love
Honestly, I have a lot of those.
From my parents, friends, and ofcourse from God.

So why am I longing for some additional?
If I will then turn worn out at the end
Why am I searching for additional mind- and heart-bugging activity
If I know that it will destroy me and distract me from being so silent.

Do I need to allow myself on this?
I should not.
But my eyes keeps on opening.
Keeps on peeking.
Until I found the real cause of that cheating.

I want to keep my eyes close.
Keep the feeling in vain.
Keep my hopes certain to God.
Keeps my dreams blank.
Keep my mind to rule over my heart!

If the Heavenly Father will allow..