NUMB

seems that i am starting to be confused and be frustrated this time. Whew!.. i hope i will have a good grade this summer class in our ncm100.. whew. a while ago until now, im very frustrated because of the result of my quiz in this subject. tapos last friday, i got 2 mpls na already... whew.. and this friday will be the continuation. i hope di na ko ma-mpl this time.. help me God..

competitiveness....???????


i do want that word but i cant refuse to hate it. because im starting to be conscious with my grades and be insecure to others with whom have higher grades than me. whew!.. i hope i am as strong as a bamboo, no one can ever make me fall, no one can ever destroy!!!!!

NUMB in all pains, hardships and a lot things in this world.. if i could be then why not?..

but seems.. always impossible!

whew!



-frustrated enough to be like this...

Summer

Our summer classes were already started and i have the
feeling of too much tardiness. Ang init! tapos mafefeel
mong kau lang tao sa skul. Sa nagyon, although kilala ko
na un karamihan sa klase, uncomfortable na naman ako sa
kanila. ewan ko lang kung bakit. siguro dahil sa
kakaumpisa lang nga ng summer tapos new friends and new
classmates na naman - although kilala ko nnman sila -
bagong pakikisama ulit at bagong paraan ng
pakikipagkasundo sa kanila, or should i say bagong nica
nanaman ang ipapakita ko or makikita nila sa akin.
during the previous sem, on our community, i could say
that i have changed. i was able to change my personality,
my self-esteem as well as the way i talk and communicate
with my classmates. and with that change, i could say that
it totally make my self-esteem high and be confident in
everything i do unlike my 1st yr to 2nd yr 2nd sem stay in
LPU. that change was influenced by my peers-my classmates
and for me with my peers during 2nd sem, i have found the
comfort, trust and satisfaction of having friends within
the school.

by this summer class, i hope i can also be more
comfortable and be truly i am when i am with them.
actually, what hinders my personality is what i see my
friends think of me. my self-esteem lowered when they
think that i am not that good, i have no right to speak up
some important things, also some right to speak and make
some jokes, and the like. also, i think what hinders me is
my insecurity to some of them - to be honest, insecure
with those grade conscious students - the scholars.
although i always tell myself that we were just equal and
i can prove that i can beat them, still the word scholar
always made it best. kaya naman, the feeling of regretness
always comes to my mind but still i accept what i have
done and try not to feel bad about what ive done wrong.
Going back to the summer classes, hmmn. i think di pa
talaga ako masyadong nakakapagmove-on with my schedule and
as always, the feeling na bumabagal ulit ung oras dahil
sira na ulit yung time frame mo at dapat mo nang baguhin
dahil may new schedule ka na. and i hope mag-enjoy naman
ako this summer, i hope maging maayos pa din ung mga
grades ko and i know eventually, makkapagmove-on na ko sa
schedule pati na rin sa mga classmates ko ngayon.
however, natatawa na lang ako pag naiisip ko yung mga tipo
ng professor na meron kami. feeling ko parang napakabait
nila sa amin at parang nasa isang seminar lang kami, the
only thing that gives me challenge and fear is only when
they give quizes and exams, the rest parang wala lang.
naisip ko to dahil sa mga pinapakita ng mga prof ko
ngayon.. hmmm. ay may biglang pumasok sa utak ko.. i dont
want to say anything na lang kasi baka mabago at
mabaligtad pa pagdating ko ng next level.. heheh.. basta
masasabi ko napakafriendly ni mam sipin, iniisip niya
talaga kung ano yung mas mapapadali sa amin at mas
makapagbibigay sa amin ng saya at pag-asa when it comes to
studies... heheh. i love it!.. sana lahat ng prof ganon..
hehhe..

ayan.. mju nabunutan na ako ng tinik ngayon kasi nasabi ko
yung ibang gusto kong sabihin at may nakausap at
napaglabasan na ako ng saloobin. sa ngayon, nakakondisyon
na ko pra mag-aral ng nutrition at makapagadjust sa bago
kong environment sa klase (although di naman totally
nag-iba, ung feeling lang na bagong section and so bago
friends, bagong pakikitungo at bagong personality na naman
ata).. Naiiba-iba tlaga ang personality when there's new
things that comes to your life> tingin ko naman hindi,
kasi kung ano ka un talaga ang mapapakita mo at makikita
nila sayo, do therefore di ka nagbabago.. un nga lang...
hmmn. (ay wag nang kunontra pa, basta kung ano ka un ka
tlaga, di mo na kailangan magpretend ng kung anu man..
ok??)

hehehehe..

"personality mode nanaman!"

heheh.. ciao!

Community

Whew.. the 2nd semester was again over.. and i couldnt
imagine that ill be turning to new semester this june and
stand up to the next level - 3rd year. 2nd semester is
over and it only means that the community works and
whatsoever with regards to the community is over.
eventhough it is to be continued in 4th year, still i am
so happy that i/we survived community immersion in Los
Banos, doing all the surveys, tallying, making outputs
with all the revisions and doing all the activities to be
passed, collecting funds for our class, and ofcourse yell
and command all the members of the class to keep moving
and do whatever task needed to be done. doing this
activities for the community is really tasky however i
enjoyed a lot!

first, meeting place: 7-eleven buendiain going to Brgy. Mayondon Los Banos, Laguna, we have to
wake up early in the morning - 4am-4.30am and i think my
classmates wake up earlier than me. my mom was the one who
wakes me up and i think if i didnt tell her that i should
wake early, i would be late. and fortunately, within the
community activities, i dont have any tardy or late or
absences. and im so thankful for that. whenever i see the
7-eleven in buendia, i couldnt help but to remember those
times that we met at that place and leave at 5.30am to go
to the bus station - the Green Star Bus, a ride trip going
to Laguna, and specificallywe go down between Caltex and
the Olivarez Mall, and then we again move on to another
7-eleven stall to wait for Ms. Pingoy, and then leave at
8am to go to Brgy. Hall of Brgy. Mayondon.

Most unforgettable moments during the community immersion:

- nung last week of data gathering, in Purok 6. because of
that my groupmates call me "Joaqin Bordado" - nung time na
un hinahap ko yung mga groupmates ko ng bahay para
mapagsurveyan, and so we found a house with a swimming
pool so we decided na magsurvey dito kahit na walang tao
sa labas, maybe nasa loob so i said "tao po! tao poh!, tas
bigalang may bumulantang sa harap ko na aso (dalamatian
ata un) at biglang sabi ng "Hhhhraw!aw!aw1", so dahil dun
nagulat ako at biglang napaurong. and unfortunaltely i
lost balance, i dont know how to back off, i think ulo ko
ung una kong binack off kasi nasa harapan tlaga sia ng
mukha ko, bka sakmalin ung mukha ko so ung mukha ko ung
una ko inurong bago ung paa ko, kaya naman nalost of
balance ako. at dahil sa nawalan ng balance, tumambling
tambling ako sa sahig t nakita ng mga klasmyts ko.. grabe
tawang tawa sila.. tas pagdating namin sa brgy.hall,
kinuwento ni r.a ang mga pnagyayari sa buong klase kasama
sina mam pingoy and mam sipin, at ung ibang 3rd yr.
grabeh.. dyahe un!.. hehehe..

- umuwi ng gabi dahil sa tinatapos pa ang walang katpusang
revision ng final outpout.

- ung successful naming napresent kina mam ng community
profile namin, na makikita mung lahat ng members ng klase
ngparticipate at ginawa lahat ng mga inuutos sa kanila.
ung pagpresent ng paperpoint, ung mga tables sulat-kamay,
tulungan sa pagsusulat at batuhan ng mga analaysis during
the presentation.

- while doing many things, some will ask "pano ba toh
iaanalyse, pano ba tong ganyan?", na wala akong masagot
kasi di ko din alam at nasa ibang gawain naksentro ang
utak ko so sinsabi ko nalang, "look for books na
magssupport sa mga sinabi mo sa kung anong plagay mo anong
meron jan.." hehe, and i think di un masyadong nakatulong
sa kanila., pero dahil naman don, naging maayos ang
presentation namin!

- magovernyt? - d na un masyadong common sa akin.

- ah nung namiss ko ung first quiz namin for the finals sa
sts dahil sa pag-eedit. di ko na un masyadong dinbdib kasi
ayaw ko ng mkaramdam pa ng kung ano man sa sarili ko.

- maningil ng seedmoney..

- magcramming dahil sa dami ng mga dapat gawin.

because of this community immersion/activities, masasabi
kong nag-enjoy tlaga ko together with my BSN2-1 klasmyts,
dito nailabas nila kung ano talaga ako at naipakita ko
kung ano talaga ako. also, they made me feel comfortable
and my self-esteem increased because nafeel kong accept
nila ako at dahil don i have the confidence to speak in
class..

thank you for that! an i hope, i can also feel the
acceptance my new classmates this summer until i graduate.
hehehe..