after a while

last night, im such a big bratt on my own self. im usually like that. seems so weird but its true. sometimes or should i say almost all of the time i used to talk to myself when something is bothering on my mind or when i dont have any companion to talk to.
whew. but for now.. ill just let my thoughts be expressed here..

2nd year 1st sem is over.. and for me, it seems so fast cause 4 months had left and i could say i learned a lot.. such skills that i eventually do after awhile. when i entered the school last june, i have a bug and he used to fulfill my vigor but eventually i didnt carry it out and soon we separated. actually i dont have any reason why i enter in that kind of connection, im not affected to him and sorry to say, i dont care, maybe im plastic but i try to be affected but the magic didnt come out - ill not further describe what i felt beacuse he might be reading this.for now, i feel that i dont have any passion to deal with guys but i used to fantasize them. hahaha.. bsta the feeling that i dont want to fall cause i am scared and somewhat afraid to face the truth when their is having some affection then..

well anyway.. as the 1st sem is over, i felt that this is the start of my life longing suffering.. swabe nman! hehehe. but ill try my best to carry it out until i graduate. hmmmn.. imagine we always have quiz with our prof in our major class and the book is so thick that i can hardly read.. whenever i force myself or schedule myself to read the book i tend to be so sleepy.. but thank God that i survived and i did much effort in order to passed that major..

before, the time i got my schedule for the 1st sem, i thought it was very easy to get a grade not lower than 2 or 2.25 but when im in the fight i proved it was wrong. i cant balance the time.. i always say i am used to my schedule last 1st year or i am used to my circadian rhythm last year that's why for now i can hardly change it nor break it. but i promised to myself that in this coming 2nd sem, ill do what should be done. and ill not ever compare my schedules..

for now, i just got my grades and thank God i passed, un nga lang i received a grade that is lower than 2. hayzz. i promised myself that i shouldnt get a grade like that because i am looking forward to my future recognitions, but unfortunately i didnt made it. but it was all ok then for me.. i hope i will not ever receive such grade anymore in the next semesters.

also, i already got my schedule for this semester and unfortunately again, i have a saturday class.. 6 days a week in school and only 1 day for rest. as always, i have to accept it because i cant change what is meant for me. also, some of my classmates say that "we" are left behind coz almost all of my classmates last semester were shifted to another section (sec2) and we are in section1 together with some section2s before.. but again, i have to accept it coz i cant do anything to change the decision of whoever fixed our section who i knew was Ms. Pingoy.

anyway, i just hope that after this semester i will be happy to receive my grades and somehow accomplised tasks that are very risky and kinda difficult, especially the thought of the very uneasy microbiology which will be taught by doc ces.. hmmm.. ill gonna meet new friends and i hope ill gonna study seriously this coming semester.. so anybody should never disturb me coz i do not want it and i dont want to be bothered by something that is not worthy.

so help me God to balance my time and to accomplish task on time and to allot time for my readings and studying..